Introduction & Preface
I began these diaries when about twenty five years old, having from youth kept a diary of some sort, which perhaps from habit made me think of recording my inner and secret life. Some ten years afterwards I met a woman with whom, or with those she helped me do, I did, said, saw, and heard well nigh everything a man and woman could do with their genitals, and began to narrate those events, when quite fresh in my memory a great variety of incidents extending over four years or more.
I had from youth an excellent memory but about sexual matters a wonderful one. Women were the pleasure of my life. I loved cunt, but also she who had it; I like the woman I fucked and not simply the cunt I fucked, and therein is a great difference. I recollect even now in a degree which astonishes me, the face, colour, stature, thighs, backside and cunt of well nigh every woman I have had.
I have since gone through abnormal phases of amatory life, have done and seen things, had tastes and letches which years ago I thought were the dreams of erotic mad-men; these are all described, the manuscript has grown into unmanageable bulk; shall it, can it be printed? What will be said or thought of me, what become of the manuscript if found when I am dead? It has fulfilled its purpose in amusing me, now let it to the flames!
I have read my manuscript through; what reminiscences! Has anybody but myself faithfully made such a record? It would be a sin to burn all this, whatever society may say, it is but a narrative of human life, perhaps the everyday life of thousands, if the confession could be had.
Have all men had the strange letches which late in life have enraptured me, though in early days the idea of them revolted me? I can never know this; my experience, if printed, may enable others to compare as I cannot.
Shall it be burnt or printed? How many years have passed in this indecision? why fear? it is for other's good and not my own if preserved.
I had from youth an excellent memory but about sexual matters a wonderful one. Women were the pleasure of my life. I loved cunt, but also she who had it; I like the woman I fucked and not simply the cunt I fucked, and therein is a great difference. I recollect even now in a degree which astonishes me, the face, colour, stature, thighs, backside and cunt of well nigh every woman I have had.
I have since gone through abnormal phases of amatory life, have done and seen things, had tastes and letches which years ago I thought were the dreams of erotic mad-men; these are all described, the manuscript has grown into unmanageable bulk; shall it, can it be printed? What will be said or thought of me, what become of the manuscript if found when I am dead? It has fulfilled its purpose in amusing me, now let it to the flames!
I have read my manuscript through; what reminiscences! Has anybody but myself faithfully made such a record? It would be a sin to burn all this, whatever society may say, it is but a narrative of human life, perhaps the everyday life of thousands, if the confession could be had.
Have all men had the strange letches which late in life have enraptured me, though in early days the idea of them revolted me? I can never know this; my experience, if printed, may enable others to compare as I cannot.
Shall it be burnt or printed? How many years have passed in this indecision? why fear? it is for other's good and not my own if preserved.
Regent Street 1860